May 12, 2026

When Darkness Becomes Your Teacher w/Kelly Ann Street

When Darkness Becomes Your Teacher w/Kelly Ann Street

What if your darkest moments weren’t breaking you… but shaping you? In this episode of ParaTruth: Reborn, we sit down with Kelly Ann Street, licensed therapist and author of Embrace the Dark, to explore shadow work, healing, and the power hidden...

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What if your darkest moments weren’t breaking you… but shaping you?

In this episode of ParaTruth: Reborn, we sit down with Kelly Ann Street, licensed therapist and author of Embrace the Dark, to explore shadow work, healing, and the power hidden within life’s toughest moments.

🔮 Topics include:
- Shadow work and emotional healing
- Dark nights of the soul
- Reconnecting with your true self
- Practical tools for growth

👉 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE for more conversations exploring the unknown.

Guest Bio: Kelly Ann Street is a licensed therapist, author, and speaker whose work focuses on trauma, grief, and major life transitions. She integrates depth psychology, Internal Family Systems (parts work), psychedelic-informed perspectives, and intuitive practices to help people navigate dark nights of the soul and reconnect to their body, minds, and spirits with clarity and self-trust. She is the author of Embrace the Dark and host of the Embrace the Dark & the Light podcast. You can find her on Facebook and YouTube @kellyannstreet and on Instagram @embracethedarkandthelight.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/paratruth-reborn--6273542/support.

Thanks for listening!

WEBVTT

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Coming up on Paratruth re Born, I'll be talking to

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Kelly Ann Street about her book Embrace the Dark.

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Welcome well, do Parah Truth True.

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Welcome Paratruthers to another episode of Paratruth Reborn. My name

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is Justin and I'm very excited today to welcome Kelly

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Ann Street to the show. Kelly, Welcome to Paratruth be Born.

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Hi, thank you so much for having me.

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Absolutely. So, I've been doing this a lot where I'm

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getting people on to talk about your shadow self, and

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I'm starting to really wonder if my shadow self is

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trying to get me to bay attentionon. So, before we

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get into the book, what made you want to start

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on this work work and write the book.

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Yeah, it's sort of one of those things where was

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it something that chose me or did I choose it?

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Or was it something that chose me? Almost like I

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think you doing all of these shows on shadow work,

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is that's something that's really showing up for you and

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kind of hitting you in the face with itself. And

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so I think I think that's that's really why I

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came to the book, is I was I was doing

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my own shadow work. I was seeing it in my clients.

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I was in this space where I finally had the

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a little bit of a little bit of space, I

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will say again, to go into shadow and to really

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spend some time with all of the things that I

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maybe hadn't dealt with or hadn't dealt deeply enough with,

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and it was time for me to process them for myself.

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And in doing that, I realized that I had all

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of these tools that I wanted to use for myself

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but then also share with other people to go into

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their shadow.

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Okay, now the name of the book is Embrace the Dark.

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What does that truly mean? To embrace the dark?

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Yeah, so I think embrace the dark to me means

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that it's something to be less afraid of. I like

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the idea of embrace as accept as to bring in,

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as to welcome in, and to me, I think part

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of the thing that I want to get a message

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that I want to get out to people is that

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the dark is not necessarily scary, it's not necessarily evil,

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it's not necessarily bad. And so if we can welcome

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in by embracing what we think of as the dark

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as the shadow, then maybe we can soften into it.

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Maybe we can be a little bit more present with

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ourselves and the things that have been uncomfortable or hard

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or difficult in our lives.

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Okay, Now, a lot of people hear shadow and they think,

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you know, evil, they think bad. Why do so many

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people fear their own shadow? Is it just because we're

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kind of predisposed to hear shadow or darkness and think

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not good?

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Yeah?

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I think so. I think there's a lot of history

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around whether it's you know, religious trauma and in that

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sort of thing, but there's a lot of history around

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the dark or shadow being bad, being scary, being evil,

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and those messages continue today. That's, you know, that's why

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we're here. And yet I think part of what it

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is in our modern world why the shadow still feels

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so scary is that it's the unknown. It's it is

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the shadow. It is the dark for a reason because

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it's not something we're either yet aware of, or it's

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not something that we have fully processed and brought to

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light and come to terms with. Or Another reason why

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we often think of the shadow as evil is or

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bad or scary is that our shadow is stuff that

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we've been rejected for or been told is unacceptable about ourselves.

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In the past, and when you've been rejected or hurt

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because of a part of your personality and then you

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need to face that or want to integrate that back

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into yourself. That's a really frightening part prospect.

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Now, we asked, we did a poll and asked our

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paratruthers have you ever experienced a dark knight of the soul?

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And one hundred percent of them said not sure what

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that is? So what is the dark knight of the soul?

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Yeah? So is it? Okay? If I give like a

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little bit of a history lesson here U? Yeah, fabulous, Okay,

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So I feel like you can't explain what a dark

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knight of the soul is without knowing its origin. So

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in the fifteen hundreds, there was a Carmelite monk named

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Saint John of the Cross, and Saint John of the Cross,

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like many you know, monks and religious figures during that time,

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was persecuted for his very particular brand of Christianity. His

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type of Christianity was some for some reason outlawed, not

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allowed during during that time, and he was put in prison.

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And so while Saint John of the Cross was in prison,

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I think he was an maybe necessarily Saint John of

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the Cross then, but he was put in prison. And

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while he was in this prison cell with you know,

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stone walls, cold, no food, you know, very little food,

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very little water, all he had was his mind. And

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while he was in that prison cell, he was thinking,

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you know, why is my God not here saving me?

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Like I'm I'm in prison for my beliefs and I'm

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not I'm alone. I don't feel a connection to God.

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And he started writing this poem that later became known

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as the Dark Knight of the Soul. And so he

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writes this poem, but he doesn't have pen, he doesn't

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have paper, he doesn't have anything to actually write it

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down on. So he just repeats the poem over and

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over and over in his head. And then when he

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does get out of prison, eventually he writes the poem

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down and he wrote a whole book explaining what the

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poem was about. And really the heart of the poem

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and his experience and a dark Knight of the Soul

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is a sense of complete and utter abandonment of your

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your soul being lost being you know, you don't have

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any anything to hold on to, there's nothing tangible to feel.

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And I think when we've when we've gone through an

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experience in our lives where you're just you know, you're

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going about your day. You have a connection to something

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greater than yourself or some meaning in your life. It

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doesn't even have to be religious or or religion. I'm

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not particularly religious myself, but when you have a connection

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to something other than yourself, something greater, or even a

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connection in with yourself, and then that goes away, you

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you lose your meaning through losing your faith in something,

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losing a relationship, losing a job or a career, and

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all of a sudden, what you these walls that you

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have built around yourself of meaning of who you are

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go away. That is a dark knight of the soul.

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Okay, well, I'm glad you kind of gave that history

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because I literally had to look this up before we

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got on today because I had never heard of it either,

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So it didn't surprise me that our listeners didn't either.

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But yeah, that's fascinating, especially like he was able to

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not just become in touch with his spiritual self, but

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got down into his own psyche because he was just alone.

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Yeah, yeah, absolutely, you know, a dark height of the

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soul really brings you to your knees and has you

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question everything you think about yourself, everything you might think

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about the world. And from that place that to me

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like that is embraced the dark. That you get to

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that place you're on your knees, you don't know where

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to turn or what to do, and from that place

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is where you rebuild and where you reconnect and get

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to know yourself and love yourself, hopefully a little bit

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more deeply.

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I feel I've had a lot of those, So I

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think maybe it's time to do some chef work and

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rebuild myself. Yeah. Now, how can pain actually become a

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tool for healings of something to escape or even just

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not letting go of it?

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Yeah, it's I think. You know, it's interesting you say pain,

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and I know we're probably you're probably meaning emotional pain,

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and that is definitely, you know, one one aspect, one

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version of it. But I will say immediately I went

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this idea of physical pain, and so I want to

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speak to that a little bit because a lot of

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my work with people and with myself is in the

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body and in somatics, and so whether it is physical

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pain or emotional pain, that pain is a clue that

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pain tells you something is not right here, something is off,

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something is happening that we need to address. And so

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you know, if it's I'll just say, if it's physical pain,

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and whether you know you're you're having consistent lower back

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issues or you know your shoulder has really been bothering you,

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and you know it's maybe not just from you know,

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playing too much pickleball or whatever it is, and you

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can tune into and just maybe close your eyes and

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go in to that part of your body wherever you're

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feeling that physical pain and just ask yourself or ask

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the pain, what do you need me to know right now?

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And you can do that with your physical body, but

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you can also do that with your emotions. And so

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when you're feeling grief or sadness or jealousy. Jealousy is

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a big one that I really like to work with

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with people, as well as anger. And when you're feeling

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those emotional pain points, you can use that as a

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queue to turn back into yourself and just quietly ask

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the question, what do you need me to know right now.

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Now? A lot of people, like I said, they hear shadow,

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they get worried, but what is like the biggest misconception

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people have about shadow work when you're when you're talking to.

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Them, Yeah, I think maybe that you also have to

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get really like dark, or that you have to be

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in a really bad place maybe to work with your shadow.

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I think sometimes it's when I'm in a in a

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you know, good or a more balanced place, that I'm

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actually able to access more shadow because I have a

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deeper level of self compassion and trust within myself, rather

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than necessarily if I'm if I'm not in a place

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of grief or of loss, and yet I have some

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uncomfortable feelings that are coming up. For instance, I love

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to gay examples. And for instance, today actually with one

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of my clients, what came up was really talking about

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comparing themselves to other people in their industry on social media.

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And so this client is an esthetician. I happen to know,

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she's like an incredible, incredible esthetician who you know, works

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with people's skin and is really skilled at her work.

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And yet she's seeing that other people are posting about

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stuff they do online and they're talking about their career

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and they're getting a lot of ego boost and platitudes

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for it. And so she's you know, looking at all

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this social media and she's just feeling crap about herself.

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And from that place where she's looking at others, she's

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seeing all of this comparison. Maybe she's not, you know,

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in the darkest spot. Maybe she's not you know, she's

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not feeling this complete sense of loss or abandonment. She's

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just kind of not feeling great about herself. From that

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place is where you can bring in samples of shadow work,

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where you can start to dig in a little bit

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and just kind of dip your toe in, so to speak.

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Okay, something that I think is really fascinating in the book,

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as you talk about seven areas of life, can you

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talk about what the seven areas of life are and

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what the what hits hardest for most people.

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Yeah. So the Seven Areas of Life is based on

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the concept of a wheel of life, and that was

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a development tool developed in around the seventies by a

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guy named Paul Meyer. And he created the Wheel of

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Life as this way to create a visual wheel, a

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visual concept of the areas of your life that feel

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imbalance and feel out of balance. And so when I

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was working with the idea of writing a book about

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the shadow and how to help people heal through it.

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I would. I turned to this tool that I've used

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with my clients, I've used with companies that I've worked with,

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I've used in my own personal development, and I gave

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it a little twist by creating it as an acronym,

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which I just I love to make things that are

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easy and simple tools for people to remember. So my

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wheel of life is embrace. It is oh my gosh,

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you know what. I'm gonna be honest with your listeners here.

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This is a This is a real moment of life

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honesty and transparency. I will admit as a I have

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a four month old postpartum that my brain just does

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not work as well as it used to, and my

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memory and recall are not amazing. So a moment of honesty, transparency,

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and some embarrassment showing up. But I'm going to turn

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to my book and read vacronym. So my areas of

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life are embodiment and so that is of course our

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physical body, and then meaning the way you connect with

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something bigger than yourself, becoming, which is really personal development

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and growth relationships and this is romantic friendship and familial abundance,

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our relationship with money, calling the thing that we choose

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to do in our life that gives us purpose. So

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I would say for you, it's probably this podcast and

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this work you do with people, environment and the places

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that we live. So we all experience relationships, we all

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experience some sense of purpose or a job in our lives.

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We all have a place or places we've lived, and

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so on and so forth. We all have bodies, and

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we can experience a dark knight of the soul in

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any one of those areas. And I think they the

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reason why I picked up the areas of life is

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that each of those areas, when we experience a dark

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knight of the soul in them, it looks a little

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bit different. It feels a little bit different. A dark

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knight of the soul, and the body is related to

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maybe pain or illness, or a difficult relationship with ourselves

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and what we look like or what we've been told

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we should look like, and that that's a very different

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feeling than a dark knight of the soul in relationships

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where maybe you either lose a life or you can't

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figure out how to have friends.

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Okay, something that you mentioned earlier is talking about people

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suppressing parts of their personality because somebody didn't like that

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part of them, that person so and I'm guilty of

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it too. I suppress a lot of my personality because

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I don't feel if I was my true self people

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would accept me. How do people reconnect with those parts

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of themselves that they've suppressed over the years.

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Yeah, my favorite. One of my favorite ways to do

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that and to work with people in reconnecting with those

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aspects of themselves and their personality that were suppressed or

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are suppressed, is to look at old photo albums, To

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look at pictures of yourself as a child and through

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all different ages, especially if there's an age that you

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can remember being particularly difficult. Pretty much everybody had a

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difficult middle school and you know, preteen years and early

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teen years, and so definitely look at if you can

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access either internally your images or better yet, if you

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do have photos. But really, any age where there's something

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where you just remember a sense of sadness or of

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feeling kind of rejected, go back, remember who that child was,

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and maybe what was it that felt like it was

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rejected or not acceptable, and think about was it was

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it really that bad? Was it really that wrong? And

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maybe then you can start to bring in a little

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bit of compassion or care or acceptance of that little

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you that wasn't fully accepted for who they were. And

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you know, justin I just want to say, I keep

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looking at your shirt, and obviously when people are listening,

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they're not going to be able to see the shirt

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that you have on, but I just have to say, like,

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your your shirt that you're wearing is bold, bright colors,

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has these beautiful mushrooms on it. And I'm a huge

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fan of mushrooms, I will say, in all varieties and ways,

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and enough set on that. And so seeing your shirt,

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I'm just I'm seeing this this joy, this playfulness, this childishness,

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and it's it's a really lovely image to have. And

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I just I just wanted to note that, and how

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I wonder how that shows up for you.

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I appreciate that. I mean, this is actually one of

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my favorite shirts. So now you mentioned you like to

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tell stories or tell experiences. What role does that play

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in healing, whether you're telling your own stories or listen

300
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to other people's stories.

301
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Yeah, healing happens through witnessing others and being witnessed for sure.

302
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It happens through connection, and we do that by hearing

303
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what other people have gone through and going me too

304
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ways and the things that have happened to us, the

305
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things that we've been through, we can create a ripple

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effect within ourselves but also with whoever we're talking to.

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And you know, I really found this to be so

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true when I was at women's retreat. And I do

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write about this in the book, but I went to

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this women's retreat and we are doing this sectivity of

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a naked circle, and so there are thirty women of

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all ages and shapes and sizes and backgrounds sitting in

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a circle undressed to their level of comfort as a

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way to both see and be seen in our bodies

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and to share the story of our bodies. And so,

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you know, we're going around the circle and the leader starts,

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and I'm sitting right next to her, and so I

318
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can already tell that she's going to tell the story

319
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of her body and then I'm going to be next.

320
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So she tells the story of her body and the

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things that it's been through and where she's at with

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it now, and then moves on to me. And it

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was both an in body and out of body experience

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that I just asked for whatever words my body needed

325
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to be shared, to share with these women. And the

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thing that came to me was how comfortable I was

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in my own skin as a child and as a

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little girl. You know pictures that I have of me

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in various states of undress as like a three four

330
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year old, you know, little kids just running around in

331
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their underwear and feeling so certain and comfortable and safe.

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And then what happened to my body to get to

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the place where I didn't feel safe anymore, or where

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I didn't feel comfortable, where my body became something that

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was for other people or that I was told was

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bad by other people. And in telling that story, I

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saw every single woman around the circle see herself in

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what I had been through, and it shifted everything for me,

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and it shifted so many of these other women as well.

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Did being vulnerable like that feel scary or uneasy at all?

341
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Like both being naked and trying to remember something like that?

342
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Absolutely? Absolutely? I Mean I was sobbing before we started

343
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at the idea of having to and it was to

344
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your comfort, and so you know, it wasn't It wasn't

345
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something that I had to do. I wasn't being forced,

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but I knew that for me, I needed to be

347
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brave and disrobe and do that, and yet it was

348
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one of the most terrifying experiences of my life to

349
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be seen in that way. To be so vulnerable and

350
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raw and open with people, That's not something we do

351
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in our usual lives. We're very curated. We tell people

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what we want to tell them, We tell people what

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we think will get us acceptance or love. And there

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are few people we can be safe with in our

355
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lives usually, But in a room of you know, thirty

356
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women that you've just met not usually the safest place. So, yeah,

357
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it was terrifying.

358
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Is there an exercise somebody can do or even like

359
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even doing shadow work where you start to get more

360
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comfortable about those things?

361
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Yeah. So I specifically recommend doing some mirror work for people.

362
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And the mirror work can happen just like I did

363
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it with this group of fully in the nude or

364
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the mirror work can happen just standing in front of

365
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a mirror and looking at your face and looking at

366
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yourself and seeing maybe where your ancestors came from. If

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that's something that you want to connect with, I'm all

368
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about connecting with our ancestors and healing ancestral trauma. So

369
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that is a beautiful place to start. It can be

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the things that you you know, just looking at your

371
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eye and getting really close in to be like, what

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can I like about myself here? What can I accept

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about myself in this moment? And so that doing some

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light mirror work or looking at your arm, or you know,

375
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just doing these small little little bits and pieces. You

376
00:24:52.440 --> 00:24:55.279
don't have to do the whole shebang at once and

377
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kind of expose yourself to yourself. If that feels too

378
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much or it's too hard, you can start small. You

379
00:25:02.640 --> 00:25:07.079
can do these little things to start to embrace aspects

380
00:25:07.079 --> 00:25:10.240
of yourself that have been difficult for you in the past,

381
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or that you felt rejected by or unloved by with

382
00:25:13.400 --> 00:25:19.799
other people, how do.

383
00:25:19.799 --> 00:25:23.400
You balance embracing darkness without getting stuck in it? Or

384
00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:26.640
can you get stuck in it? Oh?

385
00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:29.960
You absolutely can get stuck in it, And that is

386
00:25:30.559 --> 00:25:36.200
one of the difficult parts and of working with a shadow.

387
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And so for me, I have a lot of things

388
00:25:40.759 --> 00:25:43.119
that I turn to in order to not get stuck

389
00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:47.160
in it, and one of those things is the people

390
00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:50.680
in my life. And so there was a particular time

391
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where I was going through a really heavy, dark night

392
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of the soul.

393
00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:54.039
I was.

394
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Deep in infertility treatments and not having them work, and

395
00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:03.119
feeling like we were just reaching dead end after dead

396
00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:07.200
end with expanding our family and having a child, and

397
00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:11.519
I reached this point where I was just I was

398
00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:15.720
so deep, I was so dark. And my husband just

399
00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:19.160
one day turned to me and said, does it have

400
00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:22.319
to all be dark? Does it have to all be sad?

401
00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:24.839
Can we just let a little bit of light in?

402
00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:31.720
And there was something about being told that there was

403
00:26:31.720 --> 00:26:34.440
some choice in this, that this could there could be light,

404
00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:37.160
there could be levity that opened up the door for

405
00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:39.680
me to see that there was there could be light.

406
00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:43.200
And so turning to the people in your life and

407
00:26:43.720 --> 00:26:46.279
asking them to help pull you out of the darkness

408
00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:49.920
is one way. I also think it's very very important

409
00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:53.200
when doing shadow work to take breaks and to not

410
00:26:53.400 --> 00:26:56.079
think that you are either going to heal everything all

411
00:26:56.119 --> 00:26:59.279
at once, or that you should heal everything all at once.

412
00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:04.359
Working with the shadow is a lifelong process, and so

413
00:27:04.759 --> 00:27:07.480
doing this work, you need to come in and out

414
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:10.599
of the darkness, and so doing things to find light,

415
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:14.200
whether that's literally going out in the daytime and getting

416
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:17.559
some sunshine, on your face when you're feeling particularly dark

417
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:20.599
or in the shadow, or doing some grounding work, putting

418
00:27:20.599 --> 00:27:23.680
your feet on the ground. I'm very nature based in

419
00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:26.799
my work and body based, and so doing anything where

420
00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:30.519
you can incorporate movement, where you can incorporate connecting to nature,

421
00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:34.039
where you can incorporate connecting to others, any of those

422
00:27:34.039 --> 00:27:37.559
things are ways to be able to be in the

423
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:40.000
dark and then come out and take breaks and give

424
00:27:40.039 --> 00:27:43.160
yourself some space in order to heal and integrate the

425
00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:45.920
shadow that you've faced and that you've come up with.

426
00:27:49.279 --> 00:27:52.680
Now doing all this work, and you know, I've heard

427
00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:55.720
this actually a lot from several guests now that a

428
00:27:55.759 --> 00:27:59.799
lot of this type of work is it's a lifetime priceless.

429
00:28:00.200 --> 00:28:03.640
I feel that's the way with anything when you're talking

430
00:28:03.640 --> 00:28:06.880
about spiritual or even psychological. If you're having problems with

431
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:12.680
psychological problems, what are some early signs that someone is

432
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:18.759
starting to heal and starting to embrace their self even more. Yeah,

433
00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:20.039
that is.

434
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:22.799
A great question. I have people come to me a

435
00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:25.240
lot and say, like how do I know when I'm healed?

436
00:28:25.319 --> 00:28:27.920
Or like how will I know what I'm done? And

437
00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:34.519
there is some sort of an ephemeral sense, a sense

438
00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:37.640
that you really can only have for yourself in some

439
00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:40.759
ways that you'll know like okay, I'm good, like I've

440
00:28:40.759 --> 00:28:44.279
got this for now. But I think for me personally,

441
00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:50.759
there is a sense of I just feel connected in

442
00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:57.200
with myself. I just feel grounded and a sense of okayness.

443
00:28:57.240 --> 00:29:01.759
It's almost like where you you can put your hands

444
00:29:01.799 --> 00:29:05.440
out and you know that your hands are steady. That's

445
00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:10.480
it's those those little things or one other way is

446
00:29:10.519 --> 00:29:15.000
a really great test. Hopefully this example will resonate with

447
00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:17.920
some people. Is when you think about a relationship that ended,

448
00:29:18.440 --> 00:29:23.079
a romantic relationship in particular, is when you think back

449
00:29:23.079 --> 00:29:26.480
about that relationship and if you've been in a place

450
00:29:26.519 --> 00:29:31.279
where you've been so angry, so like you got to

451
00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:34.799
a place where you could not stand the site, the sound,

452
00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:41.279
the hearing, the name of that person, and you're working

453
00:29:41.319 --> 00:29:43.319
with that, you're trying to heal from it. You're trying

454
00:29:43.319 --> 00:29:46.599
to you know, get over and have some a sense

455
00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:50.200
of peace about that relationship, and all of a sudden,

456
00:29:50.279 --> 00:29:52.799
you you know, you realize, I haven't thought about that

457
00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:56.240
person in a while, and their name, their face, a

458
00:29:56.319 --> 00:30:02.880
memory comes to mind and there's just a sense of neutrality.

459
00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:06.759
That to me is one example of how you can

460
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:08.519
know that you have healed.

461
00:30:10.119 --> 00:30:13.920
Okay, that makes a lot of stunse. I mean, if

462
00:30:13.960 --> 00:30:17.559
you're feeling balanced, it'll show in your personality and in

463
00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:19.079
your life. I like that.

464
00:30:19.640 --> 00:30:22.799
Yeah. And yet the thing I will say about balance

465
00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:25.240
and you know, and it's like the subtitle from the

466
00:30:25.240 --> 00:30:27.759
book is Heal and Fine, Balance and Life's deepest shadows

467
00:30:28.160 --> 00:30:31.359
is that balance comes and goes. It's not a permanent

468
00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:34.960
state like you're not you know, like you I said,

469
00:30:34.960 --> 00:30:39.279
and you said, is a lifetime. We're always doing it.

470
00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:41.680
And so we'll have moments where we're in balance, where

471
00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:45.160
we're feeling that groundedness, and then we will get knocked

472
00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:49.519
on our backside and something else will happen, or something

473
00:30:49.559 --> 00:30:52.400
will come up that we've got to face it again.

474
00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:00.880
Now, can darkness ever be a guide rather than something

475
00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:04.160
to fix? Or is that, in and of itself a guide?

476
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:08.519
I would say yes, in and of itself, darkness is

477
00:31:08.680 --> 00:31:12.400
a guide. And that is a guide.

478
00:31:10.839 --> 00:31:13.440
And so.

479
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:18.400
Is darkness something you always have to fix? No, absolutely not.

480
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:22.759
I think More often, in fact, darkness is something that

481
00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:26.359
you have to integrate and take in and so it's

482
00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:30.759
like going back to that idea of the things that

483
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:34.799
were unacceptable about us in childhood. So I know, for

484
00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:40.240
me personally, I was brought up to feel like what

485
00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:43.160
was acceptable was that I was happy, was that I

486
00:31:43.240 --> 00:31:47.160
was a joyous kid, and yet I wasn't always, because

487
00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:52.200
none of us are always. And so this, this joy,

488
00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:57.000
this happiness that was accepted was represented for me in

489
00:31:57.079 --> 00:32:01.160
My mom's parents are deaf, and so I grew up

490
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:05.599
using sign language, and the sign for my name is

491
00:32:05.960 --> 00:32:08.920
the letter K, and sign language held to the corner

492
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:12.319
of your mouth and smiling to create a smile. Because

493
00:32:12.359 --> 00:32:14.640
I was known as like I was always smiling, so

494
00:32:14.720 --> 00:32:18.279
smiling K for Kelly, and that was the sign for

495
00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:24.039
my name. And so whenever I displayed something that wasn't smiling,

496
00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:27.559
and that wasn't happy, when I was sad, when I

497
00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:31.119
was depressed, when I was angry, all of those things

498
00:32:31.599 --> 00:32:35.960
were unacceptable. I was sent to my room. I was

499
00:32:36.039 --> 00:32:41.599
told to oh, just stop smile, Oh come on, and

500
00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:44.359
so all of that. When I got told that that

501
00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:47.680
was unacceptable, I shoved it down, I put it aside,

502
00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:52.519
and I became someone who lived my life in toxic positivity.

503
00:32:52.599 --> 00:32:56.920
I became overly peppy and hyper and always trying to

504
00:32:56.920 --> 00:32:59.720
put a smile on my face, and yet deep down

505
00:33:00.359 --> 00:33:03.960
the sadness was still there. And so in order for

506
00:33:04.079 --> 00:33:08.680
me to accept the shadow, and to really work with

507
00:33:08.759 --> 00:33:11.519
a shadow, I had to start to learn to accept

508
00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:14.200
that I wasn't just a happy person, that I was

509
00:33:14.240 --> 00:33:17.279
also a sad person. I was a jealous person. I

510
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:21.440
was an angry person along with the joy and the happiness,

511
00:33:22.039 --> 00:33:24.079
and that if I could accept all of those other

512
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:30.000
aspects of myself, that I could be more whole, but

513
00:33:30.119 --> 00:33:35.000
also that that was more me. It wasn't just that

514
00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:41.400
I was acceptable. I was a more full and whole person,

515
00:33:42.079 --> 00:33:44.200
and showing up that way for people, I was more real.

516
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.839
So yeah, I guess that, to me is how we

517
00:33:50.680 --> 00:33:54.400
can think about the shadow in a different way.

518
00:33:55.279 --> 00:33:57.319
Well, thank you for bringing that up too, because it

519
00:33:57.440 --> 00:34:02.160
kind of covers what my next question was. But I

520
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:07.160
find myself doing that a lot, just telling somebody, well,

521
00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:10.800
would you please stop? Everything is fine, you don't have

522
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:14.159
to worry about this. And I do this to my

523
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:16.840
wife a lot. And now that you've mentioned it, I

524
00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:21.760
will definitely watch what I'm addressing it because I think

525
00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:25.880
that's something we're taught and that you know, we need

526
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:29.400
to fear our emotions and really we should be embracing

527
00:34:29.480 --> 00:34:31.519
all emotion, not that you have to show them all

528
00:34:31.559 --> 00:34:35.519
the time, but embrace it and be yourself through those emotions.

529
00:34:36.679 --> 00:34:40.239
Yeah. Yeah, and I yet I also totally hear that

530
00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:44.119
sometimes we do need to hear that it's okay. Sometimes

531
00:34:44.159 --> 00:34:46.559
we do need to hear of like, it's all right,

532
00:34:46.599 --> 00:34:49.480
calm down, it's going to be okay, because some of

533
00:34:49.519 --> 00:34:53.639
that is repairing. I don't know if your listeners will

534
00:34:53.679 --> 00:34:57.360
know much about attachment wounds, but sometimes that is repairing

535
00:34:57.559 --> 00:35:01.280
the attachments that have been broken with our caregivers as children.

536
00:35:01.840 --> 00:35:03.920
And so we do need to hear as an adult

537
00:35:04.159 --> 00:35:07.199
that it is okay, that we are safe, that it's fine.

538
00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:12.000
It's when that becomes the default and when it becomes

539
00:35:12.039 --> 00:35:15.599
dismissive that that's when we want to keep it in

540
00:35:15.679 --> 00:35:18.320
check and notice, both for ourselves or when we're telling

541
00:35:18.360 --> 00:35:21.119
other people, oh, it's fine. Is like when you think

542
00:35:21.119 --> 00:35:23.880
about that anxious thought that comes up and you kind

543
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:26.360
of swat it away like an annoying gnat or a bug.

544
00:35:27.599 --> 00:35:32.880
That's when you go, ooh, am, I just not listening

545
00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:35.599
to something that's going on that's deeper inside b.

546
00:35:38.599 --> 00:35:42.119
Well, and that that's the thing too that I'm always

547
00:35:42.159 --> 00:35:45.800
genuine about when I say it, but I can understand

548
00:35:45.840 --> 00:35:50.199
how saying it all the time would sound like you're

549
00:35:50.199 --> 00:35:55.039
being dismissive. Yeah, go ahead.

550
00:35:55.320 --> 00:35:58.360
Yeah, And so I think maybe you know not that

551
00:35:58.599 --> 00:36:00.119
not that I'm going to be your therapist here or

552
00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:02.039
that I try not to do a lot of advice,

553
00:36:02.119 --> 00:36:04.320
but I think it could be helpful for people to

554
00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:06.239
hear like, oh, what do you do in that situation?

555
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:06.480
Then?

556
00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:12.079
And so sometimes instead it's a hey, can can you

557
00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:13.880
tell me a little bit more about how you're feeling

558
00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:19.039
or what even just asking the simplest question, what do

559
00:36:19.079 --> 00:36:22.760
you need from me right now? What would feel good

560
00:36:22.760 --> 00:36:25.280
for you right now? Instead of me telling you that

561
00:36:25.320 --> 00:36:27.840
it's going to be okay, do you want to hug

562
00:36:28.440 --> 00:36:31.280
do you want me to, you know, rub your back?

563
00:36:31.360 --> 00:36:34.360
Do you want me to jump into action and do something?

564
00:36:35.280 --> 00:36:38.760
And so instead of maybe saying, oh, it's going to

565
00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:43.079
be fine, don't worry about it, is what do you need?

566
00:36:43.239 --> 00:36:45.599
What do you need right now? And I think you know,

567
00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:49.599
listeners will harken back to early in the conversation when

568
00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:52.039
I said to ask that of yourself as well. And

569
00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:55.039
so I think that's just an overall important question to ask,

570
00:36:55.199 --> 00:36:58.360
is checking in with and thinking about what it is

571
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:01.239
that you need, what it is that others need in

572
00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:05.679
those moments where you're feeling unsettled, where you're feeling anxious

573
00:37:05.760 --> 00:37:06.599
or you're feeling afraid.

574
00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:14.400
Okay, now, was there something that surprised you while writing

575
00:37:14.440 --> 00:37:17.199
this book and what was it?

576
00:37:18.360 --> 00:37:21.559
Oh, that is a very fun question that I have

577
00:37:21.599 --> 00:37:23.960
not I have not yet been asked.

578
00:37:25.280 --> 00:37:25.599
Yeah.

579
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:30.400
The thing, the main thing I will say that surprised

580
00:37:30.440 --> 00:37:34.400
me when writing this book is all of the editing.

581
00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:36.239
I know that that maybe.

582
00:37:36.079 --> 00:37:39.719
Isn't the answer to that that you would think of

583
00:37:39.840 --> 00:37:44.480
or that we're going for, but really the editing, and

584
00:37:45.079 --> 00:37:47.800
I guess what I mean by that is when I

585
00:37:47.840 --> 00:37:48.800
sat down and.

586
00:37:48.719 --> 00:37:51.760
Wrote this book, I really wrote the first draft of

587
00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:56.000
the book for myself. I needed to process things that

588
00:37:56.039 --> 00:38:00.000
had happened to me. I needed to understand the story

589
00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:03.480
that kept coming up that were holding me back or

590
00:38:03.480 --> 00:38:07.000
that were causing me a lot of pain. And so

591
00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:10.159
when I sat down and I wrote the first draft

592
00:38:10.159 --> 00:38:13.480
of this book, it was entirely something that I wrote

593
00:38:13.519 --> 00:38:16.719
for me to get out on the paper. And to

594
00:38:17.039 --> 00:38:20.719
just process and be able to say, there it is

595
00:38:20.760 --> 00:38:24.400
in black and white, that is my story, my truth.

596
00:38:25.239 --> 00:38:32.719
And so then after that that first version happened, I went, oh, Okay,

597
00:38:32.840 --> 00:38:34.760
that was great for me, But what are other people

598
00:38:34.840 --> 00:38:36.800
actually going to get out of this book? If I

599
00:38:36.840 --> 00:38:40.239
write this book for other people to read, how can

600
00:38:40.280 --> 00:38:43.800
they see themselves and my stories? How can they see

601
00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:46.559
themselves in the tools that I used or things that

602
00:38:46.599 --> 00:38:50.239
I talked about that helped me heal? And so I

603
00:38:50.280 --> 00:38:54.239
wrote probably I think four or five versions of this

604
00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:56.960
book to get to the final one that came out

605
00:38:57.079 --> 00:39:01.880
that hopefully is something that people really can see themselves

606
00:39:01.880 --> 00:39:05.000
in and see themselves in the things that I've been through,

607
00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:07.960
but also my clients have been through that I write about,

608
00:39:08.400 --> 00:39:12.079
and see themselves in the tools that I talk about using,

609
00:39:12.119 --> 00:39:19.760
whether it's meditation or shamanic journeying, or psychedelics or you know,

610
00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:24.920
ifs internal family systems therapy or somatic therapy, any number

611
00:39:25.039 --> 00:39:28.039
of the things that I talk about. I just hope

612
00:39:28.079 --> 00:39:33.960
that people read the book and now see that this

613
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:36.360
is a book about healing, and it's a book about

614
00:39:36.360 --> 00:39:39.280
how I've healed, but it's a book about how maybe

615
00:39:39.639 --> 00:39:40.440
you can heal too.

616
00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:47.840
Okay, now you just brought up psychedelics, And I've heard

617
00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:52.079
a lot of people talk about the benefits of using psychedelics,

618
00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:56.000
especially doing work like this, or even like meditation or

619
00:39:57.400 --> 00:40:04.280
astral projection, things like that. Should someone have a guide,

620
00:40:04.639 --> 00:40:07.119
like someone who's done this before with them, if they

621
00:40:07.199 --> 00:40:09.119
wanted to try psychedelics.

622
00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:12.519
To do something like this, I would say absolutely yes.

623
00:40:13.079 --> 00:40:16.840
And I am all about us having our own internal

624
00:40:16.920 --> 00:40:21.920
healing wisdom. Cool. Yes, we all are our own greatest healer,

625
00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:27.320
and in order to do I think true psychedelic therapy,

626
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:32.559
you know you can. You can utilize psychedelics or or

627
00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:37.119
things like that in other ways that aren't necessarily for healing,

628
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:39.840
but if you are trying to use them as a

629
00:40:39.880 --> 00:40:43.559
tool to heal, having a guide who has been there before,

630
00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:47.119
who knows those spaces, who has done that work, whether

631
00:40:47.199 --> 00:40:53.440
it is utilizing really the only legal substance nationally is hetamine,

632
00:40:53.800 --> 00:40:55.960
and that is something that I use in my practice

633
00:40:55.960 --> 00:41:00.679
with clients. But I also talk about utilizing of medicines

634
00:41:01.360 --> 00:41:06.920
that are not yet nationally recognized as healing medicines, and

635
00:41:08.159 --> 00:41:11.880
so either way, using any type of those things, I

636
00:41:11.880 --> 00:41:15.159
think starting with a guide is an essential part of

637
00:41:15.159 --> 00:41:18.239
the process. And it's even just to have someone there

638
00:41:19.320 --> 00:41:21.800
to go back to what I said about witnessing, someone

639
00:41:21.840 --> 00:41:26.800
who is there to see and understand what you've been

640
00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:29.679
through and what that experience is, because often what I

641
00:41:29.719 --> 00:41:33.360
find from people is whether they if they do that

642
00:41:33.440 --> 00:41:37.280
work by themselves, what will happen is they come out

643
00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:40.719
of it feeling incredibly isolated because no one else in

644
00:41:40.760 --> 00:41:43.599
their lives often is doing that kind of deep work,

645
00:41:43.880 --> 00:41:45.519
and so they'll come out of it and they'll feel like,

646
00:41:45.599 --> 00:41:47.039
I don't have anybody I can talk to you, I

647
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:50.000
don't have anyone who can relate to this work. And

648
00:41:50.639 --> 00:41:52.920
so when you do that and come out of it

649
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:55.559
and feel isolated, you can kind of go back into

650
00:41:55.639 --> 00:41:59.679
the shadow. And so having someone who can be both

651
00:41:59.719 --> 00:42:03.239
a source while you're in the medicine session but then

652
00:42:03.320 --> 00:42:06.679
coming out of it to help with that integration, I

653
00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:09.159
think personally makes a world a difference.

654
00:42:10.760 --> 00:42:17.159
Okay, I mean, even outside of all of the you know,

655
00:42:17.239 --> 00:42:21.360
the spiritual and healing and stuff like that. You know,

656
00:42:21.519 --> 00:42:25.960
I've even heard doing it recreationally, you should have somebody

657
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:28.800
there with you because you may not be doing well

658
00:42:28.920 --> 00:42:29.559
if you don't.

659
00:42:30.079 --> 00:42:34.480
So yeah, yeah, and I will say, I, uh, I'm

660
00:42:34.480 --> 00:42:37.840
not sure that I that I buy into or that

661
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:41.360
I totally believe the idea of a bad trip. I

662
00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:45.960
do absolutely think that there can be situations where someone

663
00:42:46.039 --> 00:42:52.079
feels unsafe and where someone has a moment where it

664
00:42:52.119 --> 00:42:55.039
feels like there is a break in their psyche and

665
00:42:55.079 --> 00:42:59.480
in their system. And I am a deep believer that

666
00:42:59.480 --> 00:43:02.119
that is that is actually a part of their healing

667
00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:03.599
process that needs to happen.

668
00:43:04.639 --> 00:43:09.679
Okay, now we've said this a couple of times during

669
00:43:09.679 --> 00:43:12.639
the episode. Now, coming back to yourself, what does coming

670
00:43:12.639 --> 00:43:14.280
back to yourself actually feel like?

671
00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:20.400
It feels like coming home justin That's the best way

672
00:43:20.440 --> 00:43:24.880
I can describe it is it feels like remembering who

673
00:43:25.039 --> 00:43:32.480
you have always been. And so for me, that is, yes,

674
00:43:32.599 --> 00:43:35.480
someone like I said in my personality, someone who is

675
00:43:35.559 --> 00:43:39.239
joyful and who is happy, but someone who is also

676
00:43:39.280 --> 00:43:44.440
fierce and will fight for what they feel is right

677
00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:47.800
and will not back down or let anybody else tell

678
00:43:47.840 --> 00:43:51.199
them who they are supposed to be and what they

679
00:43:51.199 --> 00:43:56.199
are supposed to do. And that sense of ownership about

680
00:43:56.239 --> 00:44:00.480
all of those aspects of who I am. It's like

681
00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:02.559
I can feel it inside of me right now. There's

682
00:44:02.679 --> 00:44:05.320
a groundedness, there's a sense of coming home, there's a

683
00:44:05.360 --> 00:44:09.079
sense of like, yeah, that's who you are. You got this.

684
00:44:11.760 --> 00:44:16.679
That's awesome. Now for somebody who wants to start doing

685
00:44:16.719 --> 00:44:20.519
this work, how can someone begin shadow work safely on

686
00:44:20.559 --> 00:44:21.000
their own?

687
00:44:23.360 --> 00:44:27.840
Yeah, My favorite way to start delving into shadow work

688
00:44:28.000 --> 00:44:33.559
is through the good old, classic therapy tool of journaling.

689
00:44:34.480 --> 00:44:39.159
And so journaling by you know, via shadow work via

690
00:44:39.239 --> 00:44:45.000
journaling can look like going to those memories that are

691
00:44:46.360 --> 00:44:50.800
maybe not maybe not so super difficult, maybe not the

692
00:44:50.840 --> 00:44:54.679
most difficult, hardest thing you've been through, the most crushing

693
00:44:54.960 --> 00:44:58.199
moment of your life. Maybe it's a moment where it

694
00:44:58.320 --> 00:45:00.719
just kind of stands out, like, you know, you're in

695
00:45:00.920 --> 00:45:05.039
middle school and someone said something to you that you

696
00:45:05.119 --> 00:45:06.920
just felt a little bit of a sense of shame

697
00:45:07.199 --> 00:45:09.519
and a little bit of sense of embarrassment, and it's

698
00:45:09.559 --> 00:45:12.400
kind of stuck with you like a residue. And so

699
00:45:12.440 --> 00:45:16.360
you think about that memory and you start writing it down,

700
00:45:17.079 --> 00:45:21.920
write down what happened, what you remember, any of the

701
00:45:22.039 --> 00:45:24.239
details that you can recall, what were you wearing, what

702
00:45:24.320 --> 00:45:27.599
was the person wearing, what was the room like, And

703
00:45:27.679 --> 00:45:29.960
you just write down as much information as you can

704
00:45:30.599 --> 00:45:35.039
and then from that place, you can think about who

705
00:45:35.079 --> 00:45:38.840
you were at the time and try journaling from or

706
00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:41.920
connecting to that middle school or that you were if

707
00:45:41.960 --> 00:45:44.800
that's you know, the memory that comes to you or

708
00:45:45.039 --> 00:45:48.880
whatever it is, journaling about and thinking about who you

709
00:45:48.920 --> 00:45:51.920
were at that time and what did they need, what

710
00:45:51.960 --> 00:45:55.559
did they want, how did they feel? And that I

711
00:45:55.599 --> 00:45:59.840
think is a really great and simple way to start

712
00:46:00.239 --> 00:46:05.480
accessing some of those more difficult, painful things. And in

713
00:46:05.800 --> 00:46:10.320
accessing it, you're processing it, you're telling your story, and

714
00:46:10.960 --> 00:46:14.480
you're witnessing it for yourself back on the other side

715
00:46:14.519 --> 00:46:16.480
now as an adult.

716
00:46:19.480 --> 00:46:25.039
That's that my therapist had suggested journaling. They didn't know

717
00:46:25.119 --> 00:46:28.280
much about shadow work, so to incorporate that and my

718
00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:32.679
shadow work will be phenomenal. So I'll definitely start doing

719
00:46:32.679 --> 00:46:34.519
stuff like that. Like I mentioned, i feel like I'm

720
00:46:34.559 --> 00:46:38.480
being called by my shadow to start fixing myself. So,

721
00:46:39.599 --> 00:46:42.679
but you know, what do you say to someone who

722
00:46:42.719 --> 00:46:45.760
feels like their darkness is too much to face? Like

723
00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:48.599
I can't do this, I'm just going to be stuck there.

724
00:46:50.039 --> 00:46:52.639
Yeah, that is something that comes up a lot in

725
00:46:52.679 --> 00:46:57.199
my work with people because of the work that I

726
00:46:57.239 --> 00:47:00.440
do and that I'm interested in and my specialty being

727
00:47:00.519 --> 00:47:02.480
working with people who are going through a dark knight

728
00:47:02.480 --> 00:47:05.960
of the soul, is that sometimes it does feel like

729
00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:10.840
too much. And that is the first thing to know

730
00:47:11.079 --> 00:47:14.079
is that that is a very common experience. You are

731
00:47:14.119 --> 00:47:17.159
not alone in feeling like it is too much, it

732
00:47:17.239 --> 00:47:19.639
is too dark, it is too hard, it is too scary.

733
00:47:20.320 --> 00:47:26.599
And so I would say to come with that knowledge

734
00:47:26.639 --> 00:47:29.440
of you're not alone. A lot of people feel that way,

735
00:47:30.079 --> 00:47:35.559
and to find yourself a good guide, a good support,

736
00:47:35.679 --> 00:47:40.480
a good therapist to work with, or even someone who

737
00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:43.559
just feels safe in your life who you can start

738
00:47:43.639 --> 00:47:48.280
to tell little bits of or show little bits of

739
00:47:48.320 --> 00:47:52.920
your quote darkness too. And I think that that really

740
00:47:53.000 --> 00:47:55.519
is one of the best places to start when it

741
00:47:55.559 --> 00:47:59.119
feels like it's too much or you're going to get

742
00:47:59.119 --> 00:48:04.400
stuck there, is to find someone who can help support

743
00:48:04.480 --> 00:48:09.159
you through it. Because yeah, a lot a lot of

744
00:48:09.159 --> 00:48:13.559
people feel that way and it's not true, but I

745
00:48:13.599 --> 00:48:17.079
get it. I've been there. I've been there myself. I understand.

746
00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:23.119
Now working through all this stuff. I mean a lot

747
00:48:23.119 --> 00:48:24.719
of people will feel they have to do it on

748
00:48:24.760 --> 00:48:27.880
their own. But you know, how do we know when

749
00:48:27.920 --> 00:48:30.920
to ask for help versus this is when I need

750
00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:32.440
to do the work by myself.

751
00:48:34.760 --> 00:48:38.480
Yeah, I think that's something that I can look at

752
00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:42.440
that a couple of ways. I think sometimes when there's

753
00:48:42.840 --> 00:48:46.039
an internal when there's a lot of resistance that comes

754
00:48:46.119 --> 00:48:50.000
up around talking to someone or sharing with someone about

755
00:48:50.039 --> 00:48:55.639
how you're feeling or about that darkness, that is a

756
00:48:55.679 --> 00:49:01.039
sign usually of something to lean into of your your soul,

757
00:49:01.159 --> 00:49:06.639
your psyche, your shadow is saying I'm afraid for someone

758
00:49:06.679 --> 00:49:10.440
to see this, and it's time to get uncomfortable and

759
00:49:10.519 --> 00:49:14.679
let somebody see it. And in that instance, when it

760
00:49:14.760 --> 00:49:18.119
feels so scary to let someone else see that, that

761
00:49:18.239 --> 00:49:20.800
is when I would say maybe someone who's more professional

762
00:49:21.079 --> 00:49:25.760
is the better person to see it. Because as a

763
00:49:25.800 --> 00:49:28.519
therapist myself, like we've kind of seen it all. We've

764
00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:32.280
kind of heard it all, and so there's nothing that

765
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:37.039
somebody can say to me that I would hear or find.

766
00:49:37.400 --> 00:49:39.440
I think, you know, I have my edges as well,

767
00:49:39.920 --> 00:49:43.400
but I think there's very little that some everyday person

768
00:49:43.480 --> 00:49:45.840
could say to me that I would be like, Oh,

769
00:49:45.880 --> 00:49:49.119
this is too much, it's too dark, you are dark,

770
00:49:49.199 --> 00:49:53.320
you are unhelpable. I just really think there isn't and

771
00:49:53.400 --> 00:49:57.880
so having someone who is used to hearing other people's

772
00:49:58.119 --> 00:50:04.280
shadow and darkness great resource that that would be definitely

773
00:50:04.280 --> 00:50:06.880
one place where I would say, when it's uncomfortable or

774
00:50:06.880 --> 00:50:09.480
when it's scary to start, and the other one is

775
00:50:09.559 --> 00:50:12.559
to go back to journaling. Is if you can witness

776
00:50:12.599 --> 00:50:16.320
for yourself and think about the times when you maybe

777
00:50:16.360 --> 00:50:22.039
haven't been your kindest or your wisest self, and if

778
00:50:22.039 --> 00:50:24.480
you can bring in just a little bit of a

779
00:50:24.519 --> 00:50:27.000
sense of compassion and a little bit of sense of

780
00:50:27.440 --> 00:50:33.800
forgiveness for yourself, that's another another place to where you

781
00:50:33.840 --> 00:50:36.679
can start to bring in kind of the witnessing and

782
00:50:36.719 --> 00:50:39.800
being seen and feeling like maybe it doesn't have to

783
00:50:39.840 --> 00:50:40.800
all be so dark.

784
00:50:42.679 --> 00:50:45.719
Have you ever had clients tell you that they just

785
00:50:45.800 --> 00:50:47.840
don't want to do this, like they can't they can't

786
00:50:47.880 --> 00:50:52.360
face it at all, or just even well, that sounds

787
00:50:52.480 --> 00:50:54.480
very woo woo. I'm not doing that.

788
00:50:56.039 --> 00:50:58.639
Yeah. I have both heard it from other people and

789
00:50:58.920 --> 00:51:03.039
I've definitely also felt it myself, for me, less on

790
00:51:03.119 --> 00:51:07.480
the woo side of not being able to deal with that,

791
00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:11.719
but more definitely I have been in and have seen

792
00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:15.039
a lot of people in the place where they're like,

793
00:51:15.199 --> 00:51:18.679
I just don't want to It's just like or this

794
00:51:18.840 --> 00:51:23.320
is weird. And for those people that I've worked with

795
00:51:23.440 --> 00:51:27.079
where it does feel weird or woo woo or too

796
00:51:27.199 --> 00:51:33.920
much or just like shadow, I won't use those words.

797
00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:38.400
I'll use different words for it. I'll, you know, use

798
00:51:38.440 --> 00:51:44.320
words like hard or scary, or difficult or uncomfortable. I

799
00:51:44.400 --> 00:51:47.159
use the word uncomfortable a lot, because that is something

800
00:51:47.199 --> 00:51:49.599
that feels a little bit safer to people than to

801
00:51:49.679 --> 00:51:51.800
maybe say your shadow self.

802
00:51:53.679 --> 00:52:00.320
Okay, what is your hope that people get from this book?

803
00:52:02.360 --> 00:52:09.480
I hope that people feel seen themselves. And I really,

804
00:52:09.519 --> 00:52:11.639
really truly hope that people.

805
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:19.119
Find one tool, one aha moment, one thing that allows

806
00:52:19.159 --> 00:52:23.880
them to bring a sense of healing, a sense of compassion,

807
00:52:23.960 --> 00:52:28.840
a sense of balance, grandiosely, a sense of self.

808
00:52:28.559 --> 00:52:34.039
Love and self acceptance. Just one little nugget from the book.

809
00:52:34.079 --> 00:52:36.320
That's all I hope for everybody who picks it up

810
00:52:36.320 --> 00:52:37.679
and reads it or listens to it.

811
00:52:38.599 --> 00:52:44.360
Okay, Now, before I let you go, I wanted to ask,

812
00:52:44.679 --> 00:52:48.679
is there a simple exercise somebody can do to start

813
00:52:48.760 --> 00:52:49.599
doing this work?

814
00:52:51.960 --> 00:52:55.239
Yeah? So let's see, We've talked about journaling, We've talked

815
00:52:55.239 --> 00:53:03.320
about doing some mirror work, and I think those are

816
00:53:03.320 --> 00:53:07.599
definitely My go to's is the journaling, is doing some

817
00:53:07.639 --> 00:53:13.079
mirror work, is being able to maybe start to bring

818
00:53:13.079 --> 00:53:16.639
the walls down and tell somebody else a memory or

819
00:53:16.679 --> 00:53:20.840
something that you maybe haven't shared with people in the past.

820
00:53:22.159 --> 00:53:27.239
But my absolute favorite tool and the thing that I

821
00:53:27.280 --> 00:53:31.719
make everybody that I work with do is breathe. And

822
00:53:32.880 --> 00:53:35.760
sound silly, that's something we're all doing passively all the time,

823
00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:40.480
but breathing intentionally looks a little bit different. And how

824
00:53:40.519 --> 00:53:44.400
I instruct people is put one hand on your heart

825
00:53:44.639 --> 00:53:46.760
and one hand on your belly if that feels comfortable,

826
00:53:46.880 --> 00:53:48.800
or both hands on your heart, but I prefer the

827
00:53:48.840 --> 00:53:51.280
hand on the belly and hand on the heart and

828
00:53:51.360 --> 00:53:55.800
closing your eyes and just taking in one deep breath,

829
00:53:57.280 --> 00:54:03.719
fully expanding and then letting go. And I know that

830
00:54:03.719 --> 00:54:07.960
doesn't maybe seem like it's shadow work, but it is.

831
00:54:08.880 --> 00:54:11.760
It's the start. It's just creating a little bit more

832
00:54:11.760 --> 00:54:16.679
space in yourself, a little bit more acceptance, and that

833
00:54:17.079 --> 00:54:19.000
is really what is at the heart of shadow work.

834
00:54:20.719 --> 00:54:23.559
I feel that that really helps people feel they can

835
00:54:23.599 --> 00:54:25.920
embrace themselves too, just by the fact that they can

836
00:54:25.960 --> 00:54:28.719
touch themselves. Yeah, comfortable about it.

837
00:54:28.960 --> 00:54:32.119
Yeah exactly, Yeah, thank you. For noting that that is

838
00:54:32.119 --> 00:54:33.079
a really important piece.

839
00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:37.239
Now we are getting close to the end here, so

840
00:54:37.280 --> 00:54:39.840
I wanted to let you have the mic to tell

841
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:42.440
everybody where they can find you find your work. That

842
00:54:42.480 --> 00:54:43.239
mikes all yours.

843
00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:46.920
Yeah, thank you so much. So you can find me

844
00:54:47.039 --> 00:54:50.360
at Embrace the darknthlight dot com, Embrace the Dark in

845
00:54:50.400 --> 00:54:53.800
the Light on Instagram, and at KellyAnn Street on YouTube.

846
00:54:54.440 --> 00:54:58.159
I do have a podcast myself in a show. It's

847
00:54:58.199 --> 00:55:01.400
called Embrace the Dark in the Light. There's a theme everybody,

848
00:55:01.519 --> 00:55:06.480
it's my whole thing, So Embrace the Dark in the Light,

849
00:55:06.559 --> 00:55:08.360
just to remember that. And you can find me there.

850
00:55:08.760 --> 00:55:11.320
And the book is available anywhere you find books. It's

851
00:55:11.320 --> 00:55:14.400
also on Audible and Spotify, and so you would get

852
00:55:14.440 --> 00:55:17.199
to hear eight hours of my voice as you listen

853
00:55:17.239 --> 00:55:17.440
to that.

854
00:55:18.519 --> 00:55:21.599
Awesome. Well, Kelly Ann Street, thank you for being on

855
00:55:21.639 --> 00:55:22.559
Paratry three Born.

856
00:55:23.199 --> 00:55:24.360
Thank you so much for having me.

857
00:55:26.199 --> 00:55:29.159
All right, folks, I encourage you to check out Kelly's book,

858
00:55:29.280 --> 00:55:32.199
Embrace the Dark, check out all the work she's doing

859
00:55:32.239 --> 00:55:36.199
with her podcast as well. I think it's a great

860
00:55:36.480 --> 00:55:40.960
tool for somebody to start healing. You know, if you

861
00:55:41.039 --> 00:55:44.559
want to get in on the conversation, become a paratruther.

862
00:55:45.159 --> 00:55:48.119
We have our Facebook group, and you heard me at

863
00:55:48.119 --> 00:55:50.920
the beginning here talk about a poll we did. If

864
00:55:50.960 --> 00:55:53.480
you want your voice heard, even when we're doing our

865
00:55:53.519 --> 00:55:57.000
live shows and you can't get on, to listen and

866
00:55:57.039 --> 00:56:02.000
get in on the chat, I'm post seeing regularly questions

867
00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:04.920
for our guests the polls, get in on the conversation,

868
00:56:05.239 --> 00:56:09.639
have some fun with us, and interact with other paratruthers.

869
00:56:10.679 --> 00:56:13.519
Until next week, folks, where you'll find us, same time,

870
00:56:14.360 --> 00:56:17.079
same channel. My name is Justin. I'll talk to you

871
00:56:17.079 --> 00:56:17.519
guys later